To Have and To Hold

Olin and I are quickly coming up on 2 years of marriage. I know we are still considered newlyweds to some, and there are times when we still feel like newlyweds, but we have faced many trials during these two short years. Amazingly, never wavering in our commitment or love for each other. I will admit that I look back at those and realize how blessed I am to be in a marriage where I don't have to wonder how secure I can be. I know he is here for the long haul. And I think I have shown him I am as well. I was reading a book the other day and came upon this. I felt like it deserved to be shared and I felt it was very representative of my marriage at this place we are at-and probably always will be.

"A Marriage"

You are holding up a ceiling with both arms. It is very heavy, but you must hold it up, or else it will fall down on you. Your arms are tired, terribly tired, and, as the day goes on, it feels as if either your arms or the ceiling will soon collapse.

But then, unexpectedly, something wonderful happens. Someone, a man or a woman, walks into the room and holds their arms up to the ceiling beside you. So you finally get to take down your arms. You feel the relief of respite, the blood flowing back to your fingers and arms. And when your partner's arms tire, you hold up your own to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this for many years without the house falling.

-Michael C. Blumenthal

As a person that was fiercly independent, and carried the weight of a lot of things on my shoulders for many years, this truly does represent what Olin did for me. I can't put into words (without sounding mushier than I already do) what a relief it is now to know that whatever happens or comes along, I AM NOT DEALING WITH IT ALONE. It is the most amazing feeling in the world! And the fact that he knows just when to put his arms back up? Icing on my cake. It is nice to know that no matter what we face or what tries to come between us, that we are a house that stands and holds together. With God in the middle of us, we are stronger than the enemy could ever be.

Olin-Thank you for coming to help me hold up the ceiling. I look forward to holding that ceiling with you for the next 50 years. Our arms may tire, but we will just take shorter turns. Know that there is nobody that I would rather be looking at while I am holding it. I love you...in more ways than you could ever know.

But I Promise I'm Witty!

I consider myself a sharp, witty girl. Most of the time. I assumed when I started writing this blog that it would be full of humor and sarcasm...and sometimes it is. However, lately I have been in a serious post mood and I can't seem to get out of it. I know that it is directly relational with everything that is going on with my life right now. I guess the reason for me writing this is to let you guys know that the witty wiggins will come back soon....Hopefully. Until then, please enjoy the serious posts...because there are sure to be a few more as I am waiting to see how God works this all out in our lives!

And now...A List

1. I am not going to even introduce the blog post before I start the list. It is item number 1. There are many little things to say and no cohesive blog post to say them in.

2. After helping people move last night and not stopping until 7am this morning, I don't have many coherent thoughts going on in my brain right now. The wee one is entertaining himself today. (Don't fret-he is 11 so he is more than capable.)

3. It is hard for me to even take a nap still. Even though he knows the rules of not answering the door or going outside and to come get me and daddy if he needs something...and not to use the stove but he can use the microwave....it still makes me nervous. After being up for more than 24 hours I was only able to take a 3 hour nap...most of which he was sleeping for as well. Does this make me a freak? I need to let him have a little responsibility!

4. I am on the phone now and I cannot process a phone conversation and typing. My brain isn't functioning that quick today. I promise to try to lighten things up around here. All of my blogs have been serious. They will probably continue to be that way for a while but I promise that, like Justin, I'm bringing humor back. Soon my blogger friends, soon. (I just typed blogger as blooger...You are all my blooger friends. Doesn't that make you feel loved?)

Until next time peeps....

The Men In My Life

The other week I was sitting in church and as my husband reached for my hand it hit me. Life is good. In the every day running of life, I tend to get bogged down and look for the next thing that I am expecting God to make happen. I miss out on what He has given me now.

I wasn't only sitting beside fabulous friends to my left, but beside me I had my husband and the wee 11 year old. Since I have found this church, I literally will be driving down the road at times and day dream about how wonderful it would be to have my earthly father go to church with me. Just one time. When I was a little girl and lived in Louisiana, I was baptized at 11 years old. I remember constantly peeking out from the doors at the front of the sanctuary and asking friends if my dad had came. He promised he would, and he did show up. Not only was the baptism the highlight of the night, but my dad was there to watch and support me. For a little girl that doesn't have that support from her dad, this was momentous. This is the only time that my dad has ever attended church with me. Fast forward a bunch of years and I still want that. He doesn't live near me so I am not peeking out the door wondering if he will show up, but I wonder how amazing it would be for him to attend Elevation. I wonder if it would rock his world like it has mine. I wonder if the message that he would hear would be the one that changed his life. I wonder if he realizes that if he were to come to accept Christ as his Saviour, that would be the greatest gift he could ever give me.

When I was sitting beside my husband in church the other day, I began to realize that it is ok to pray for a better life for my father. It is ok that I am sometimes sad that I didn't have a prominent male role model in my life growing up. However, at the same time I need to remember that He is already in my tomorrow. He is my portion. He makes sure I have exactly what I need. When my husband reached for my hand during worship, I realized I have my protector, best friend, provider, lover, help mate, cheerleader, and soul mate. What I didn't get from my earthly father growing up, my heavenly Father provided (even though I couldn't see it.) What I missed by not having men in my life growing up, He cultivated in Olin to provide that for me with a side helping of soul mate. And when I look next to my husband to the 11 year old, I am reminded that He has given Olin and I a chance to further His kingdom. He trusts me with part of that job. He trusts me to raise Seth to be a man that is unlike my earthly father.

When I look back at childhood now and get a little sad about not having dad around, I look beside of me in church, or in the bed, or around the house and I see the two men in my life. And I am reminded that even then, He was shaping me to be what I needed to be to deserve these two. I am reminded that He is, and always has been, in my tomorrows. His portion is enough. His portion is more than I could ever dream for myself.

And I am reminded that I am very thankful for that.

F Bomb

Ok. So I need to post about the f-bomb series at church the last two weeks. I said I was going to post about it. I NEED to write about it to work through all of it myself.

I cannot figure out how to write about it.

I feel like if I say everything I need to or want to, that I may as well just put up the link to the sermon because the entire thing needs to be quoted. (www.elevationchurch.org Click on media and then sermon archives and then the f-bomb icon) I also question that if I bring up things that have happened to me-am I just reliving it and allowing that situation to hurt me all over again-or is it in the name of working through it? I am also very convicted of gossipping now. Would I be gossipping if I talked about it online? Even if I changed names? Also-and this one is HUGE-I need to identify areas where I have been the one to hurt people. What do I need forgiveness for from people? It's not just about what all I have had done to me. What have I done to other people in the wake of my hurt...while I was out seeking justice?

Maybe soon I will write about it. Every time I think about it the wall of writers block gets higher and thicker. I will leave you with a few quotes from the sermons. These are what I remember...so they may not be exact quotes and if Pastor Steven isn't the original author, I apologize. I am giving him the credit-lol.

*Unforgiveness is like eating rat poison and expecting the other person to die.

*The forgiven forgive.

*Forgiveness is like setting a prisoner free...and finding out the prisoner was you.

*We come to the Kings court expecting grace for all we have done wrong. When someone has wronged us, we expect justice.

*Forgiving someone isn't forfeiting justice. It is guaranteeing it.

*Give up on the hope for a better past. If you catch up to it, what are you going to do with it? It is bigger than you. Go back in the house, under the protection of a soverign God, and let Him...who IS big enough...handle it for you.

*Living at peace with someone doesn't mean living in partnership with that person. Sometimes separation is the only way you are able to forgive.

There are more. This series blew my mind, rocked my world....made me think like nothing has in a really long time. (It was about time I knocked the cobwebs off the brain..lol). I will get out my notes and when the post comes to me, you will have it here for your reading pleasure. In the meantime, please check out the sermons! He says it so much better than I ever could!

Tuesday Tidbits...Take Two

1. I need to blog about our most recent sermon series at church. I think because I have so much that I need to work through with it, I am hitting a wall of writers block. I decided a list would maybe break me back into the writing world.

2. We are still at home. We should have left out yesterday but our truck is in the shop. Not sure about today yet...we aren't sure when they are going to be finished working on it.

3. I had a FABULOUS weekend! Seth, Olin, and I had real quality time together. I long for more weekends like that! We had great family come in on Friday. Saturday, we went to church. Saturday night, Olin and I went "unplugged" and had great quiet time together. Seth and I made cupcakes, we all three played with water rockets, painted, etc. Good memories~!

4. It was sad that Shane, David, and Kealey couldn't stay longer. Work duty calls, though. Hopefully, soon, we will have a repeat and they can spend the weekend!

5. We are in the final countdown before school starts. I hope we get it all together!

6. There will be a middle school student in my house. Send back-up help immediately. His math is officially over my head. Amen.

7. Can you tell I have severe writers block? I also struggle with procrastination. My house needs to be cleaned-desperately. I am on the computer taking care of things...like blogging and facebook...so I don't have to do it yet.

8. This may be the time that I don't have a list of 10 things. I think I am going to take the pressure off of myself and say it's ok to stop at 8. I hope you all have a great day and I promise to come back soon with a post that will have some substance to it. Maybe. :)

Whose team are you on?

I may anger some people with this post. Before you read, please remember that this is MY blog....therefore, MY opinions. You are entitled to have your own.
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way...lol...

I hear everyone walking around arguing about whose team they are on: Team Edward or Team Jacob. I have never read the books. I have never watched the movies. My husband and I have agreed that they will never be read or watched in our home. Then how do I know the main characters names, you ask? BECAUSE. IT. IS. EVERYWHERE. And I'm sick of it. I am tired of walking into Wal-Mart and seeing more bookshelves filled with books on vampires than with anything else. I am tired of the posters. I am tired of all of the magazine articles about the actors and what they are doing. I. DON'T. CARE. That may sound a little harsh, but I am telling you that if we were able to saturate the media with things about God as much as they are allowed to saturate the media with things about vampires, I may not be on a rant.

The thing I don't understand is this: Why does everyone think it's ok to be infatuated with vampires? I am concerned with the amount of adults that have been sucked into this, but I want to address the fact that parents allow their children to watch this and be sucked in. We, as adults, can watch things or read things and discern what is right and wrong in it. However, children do not have the ability to discern what we do. They take things in and internalize them, and process them in different ways than what we do. Why, then, would parents allow their teenage girls to watch this? Why would they let their little girl watch something where a girl changes herself for a man? If your daughter started dating someone that asked her to change for him (or that she had to change for) and someone that prevented her from seeing other guys because he was scared she would find something better out there YOU WOULD BE LIVID. So why are you going to let her watch a movie that promotes that and glorifies that????? I was told the other day that little girls were online talking about wanting to find "their Edward". WHY ARE YOU NOT ANGRY OVER THIS????? And we can talk about the little girls not needing to watch it for obvious reasons...but there is a reason boys shouldn't watch it either. It is our job as parents to teach our children how to behave and to teach them how to be productive adults. Take a moment and think about your own spouse. It was their parents responsibility to raise him (or her) and help shape them into the person they are now. Their parents taught them how to treat people in general, and people of the opposite sex. Aren't there a few things you wish they would have done differently? It is our job to raise boys to be productive people as adults, but also to teach them how to be a good husband. Why would you let them watch something with someone like Edward in it and know that he is glorified? I can assure you that if he treats his future wife like that, she will not appreciate it.

Parents need to realize that it's the little things that add up that we expose our children to that shape and mold them into who they are to become. That is a HUGE responsibility. One that some people take lightly. Every decision that you make as far as what they listen to or watch should be weighed with caution. If you decide not to let them watch something that turns out to be harmless, it is not going to kill them because they never saw it. Making sure your child sees a show or a movie does not make or break their world. I don't know when society started behaving like it was. If there are any doubts about it at all, don't let them watch it!!!!! It's not rocket science, people, and censoring children from shows and music never killed any of them.

I am convinced that if people put as much effort into pouring religion into the main stream media that lives could be changed. If they took the effort that they put into pre-ordering release movie tickets, standing in line for dvd releases, book releases, etc. and put it into their city to promote the gospel the world could be changed.

I could go on about this all day long. It is one of my soap box issues. My great friend, Jonathan, wrote a post that probably reads better and makes more sense...lol....over on his blog.... www.jlwide.blogspot.com. You should take a minute and check it out. Until then....I know whose team I am going to be on. No long decision making process here. Whose team are you going to be on?