Resistance

*Resistance is fiercest when you're on the border of a breakthrough.*

I am being stretched and challenged in ways I have never been before. I feel like my spirit of discernment is weak. Our pastor said the other week that resistance was the fiercest when you are on the border of a breakthrough. I believe it. God is working big time in my life-every aspect of it. And the devil is working the night shift. I sometimes have a hard time maintaining my perspective of that. Generally, I regain perspective. However, it's not before I have allowed people and situations to get me all worked up and achieve what they were shooting for.

My prayer tonight is that I would regain perspective on people and situations quicker. I pray that the devil gets out of trying to mess with my marriage. Between Olin and I-and most of all God-we WILL NOT let him win. I am thankful for all of these situations. I know that I will come out on the other side stronger in my walk with God and that alone will make it all worth it. But to be honest-I am getting weary. If the construction of this post is no example, let me assure you that I am weary. I have asked God to pull me in ways He never has before. I can personally attest to the fact that I am pulled as tight as a rubber band right now.

There is something great on the other side of this. I know that I will know my God like I have never known Him when this is all over. And I know there will be more situations like this in my life that challenge me and my relationship with Him. I do not know when this particular season in my life will be over. I do not know what else God has in store for me to teach me lessons. I do not know when the devil will back off and give me a break. I do not know when I will feel at peace with everything going on around me.

The one thing I do know? The thing that keeps me going? I DO KNOW IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT. That I know without a doubt.

I am sorry that this post is not in a tidy little box with a pretty ribbon tied around it. There are things I talked about here that I will never understand on this side of Heaven. Some parts of this post do not follow any other parts. But, take it or leave it, I can guarantee you that it is real. It is authentic. It is my heart.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers as we enter what is proving to be both the hardest, and most rewarding, season so far.

11 years old

*This post is a day late. I think Olins was a couple days late. Maybe I'll make that my new tradition. In addition to typing birthday posts for my favorite people, I will post them late. It's really the new fad. :)*

Dear Monkey,



You are 11 years old now!!!!! I remember when I first met you. You were 8 years old, full of mischief, and cute as a button!

Not a lot has changed...except the numbers! You are growing into an awesome young man. We have recently started attending church in Charlotte, NC at Elevation and you love it! I love that it spurs on quite a few conversations between you and I about the greatest story ever told! I will admit here that this is the part of parenting that scares me. I want to be able to expose you to everything you need in order to grow spiritually. That's the easy part. I want to find ways to keep you fired up and sold out to God-that's the questionable part! We must be doing something right-at least for now-because you asked to take all of your friends to church after your birthday party! I love seeing what God is doing in your heart and in your life. As a pre-teen, there are some murky waters that you are getting ready to navigate. For several more years!~ Please never lose sight of God. He is the one that will get you through whatever it is, and along the way He is giving you situations that will grow you as a person, and grow your relationship with Him. Above even all of us-He is the one that loves you the absolute most and wants to give you His best for your life.

You are getting into so many different interests right now. We are talking about karate and basketball, you love to try to cook things yourself now, you still read like you wouldn't be able to breathe without a book, and you still love your Legos! Last night you helped daddy grill hot dogs for your birthday! I nicknamed you "Bobby Flay". It made you blush. (For the record-I love making you blush!) With your reading, the one thing that makes my heart do a little dance is when I get you and daddy new magazines or books at the store, come home, and we all sit on the couch in silence and read. We didn't plan for this to ever happen. You or your daddy neither one can wait to open a new book and dig in! The couch is the closest thing the the door...Ha! And your legos-If your father is any indication you will never outgrow these. That's another thing that warms my heart. To see you and your daddy laying in your bedroom floor or spread out at the kitchen table building Legos. You guys could do this for hours-as you have proven over and over again! There have been so many legos in your floor that the most responsible way for us to pick them up was with a broom and dustpan! I love that you love to tinker!

You will be in sixth grade in a few short months. Middle School! This is a grade/age that many kids will start to feel insecure about who they are. Please never lose sight of the fact that you are a child of God first, which right away makes you awesome...and that you are loved by a lot of people. It doesn't matter what you have or don't have. Objects do not define you as a person. Your heart does. And I love the definition of You!!!!!




I will quit rambling now. I just feel like there is so much I want to tell you and it is all coming out very jumbled. Never forget that I love you. I may not have carried you and gave birth to you-but you are my son. As much as you are anybody else's. I don't promise to do this pre-teen thing right. I will make mistakes. I do promise you to try to do my best and to listen to you when you have concerns. I promise to try to be the coolest step-mom ever. (In this case, I will probably do some things that will embarass the hound out of myself! All in the name of coolness, of course.) I promise to do my best everyday to set a good example for you in your relationship with Christ. I promise to have fun with you. And I promise to look back on the mistakes I will make, and we will laugh together.

I love you monkey! I can't wait for your birthday party tomorrow! (Pictures of that to come!)

Love,

Mama Monkey

May Meanderings

Well, the month of May has turned out to be a little busy for our little family. Not too much that is notable, so to speak, but things that have kept me away from a lot of time with the computer. Surprise-I am going to list them. I can't help it. Lists are my crutch. My way of not having to construct readable paragraphs. It's how I roll.

1. For the first time in my life, I have jury duty. I can't talk about anything until it is over, but it is simultaneously boring and interesting. Bet you didn't think that would ever happen, did you?

2. Caroline had her surgery yesterday. :( Downside: She is a little doggie in a lot of pain. Upside: I will never have to deal with her going into heat. I'm afraid the OCD in me couldn't handle it. Ugh..the germs! She is perkier today than she was yesterday so things are looking up.

3. Did you ever see the movie G.I. Jane? If you did, did it make you want to leave the theatre and shave your head and blow things up? Well-the sermon at church on Sunday made me want to leave the church bldg and do something! It was very convicting and thought provoking. Go take a gander at www.elevationchurch.org. Click on Media/Sermon Archives and it is the only sermon listed under the E Series. Poke around some of the other ones too. They are guaranteed to knock your socks off!

4. My 10 year old step-son asked to take his friends to church after his bday party. Needless to say, we are now trying to work out how we can legally transport those boys to Charlotte. God will make a way...and I am praising Him for how he is working in Seth's heart! I pray every day that I am given the things to say and do from Him, so that I can continue to provide and encourage Seth in his walk with God. It is exciting to watch his faith unfold!

5. Speaking of the boys bday party.....there will be several little boys in my house overnight on Saturday night. Send reinforcements from the mental ward...STAT! Nah..they are all really good boys and they will have a blast (I hope!) and Seth is excited about turning 11. He is growing up waaay too fast!

6. Also back to the bday party......it is all planned for outside..and there is a huge chance of thunderstorms! We are praying the forecast changes......at least to rain instead of storms. The boys can play in the rain-just not in thunder or lightning. We will see what happens!

Ok...I think that is it for today. I am exhausted and I think I am going to take a nap before American Idol. Maybe I'll even do a post about them with BooMama tonight. Stay tuned to find out!!!!!!! I hope everyone is having an amazing week......Talk to you all soon!

Two posts in one day?

What in the world am I thinking? I wanted to post this one the other day, but didn't have internet access. Go figure.

Dear Olin,

Today you celebrate your 32nd birthday!!!!! I am sorry that we have to celebrate it at work, but just remember that we are working towards a bigger common goal right now.

In your 31st year, we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary! I never imagined I would get married, much less to a man as wonderful as you are. I know there are tons of people that say that about their husbands but when I say it I know it really is the truth. I don't know how I ever deserved someone like you, but I sure am glad that God crossed His arms on that one! You truly are a blessing in my life and in the lives of people all around you. You face every day...no matter how hard it is showing itself to be...with a rigid determination to push through it and see the silver lining. You definitely are my opposite on that one!

As our small family faces a lot of changes in the coming months, please remember this: No matter how upset, stressed, tired, or cranky I get....I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love nothing more these days than spending a night in at home with "my boys"......you and the monkey! I am so excited to see what God is doing in and through our family! He has so much in store for us in this new season in our lives. Just imagine what I will be writing for your 32nd!




I love you "GL"........Happy Birthday to the best husband in the world....

Love,
Courtney

May I Have Your Attention, Please?

Ahem....Now that we're all here. I have a little announcement to make. I think it's time for a major change on the ol' blog here. I want to change the name, the look (well, maybe not my layout b/c I'm in love with it. Seriously.), the purpose, etc. I just want a fresh bloggy start. So....here's the deal. I'm going to come up with a new name and address for the new blog within the next day or so. Please email me and I will give you all of the new info! You know you wanna....

Also-I would like to announce that the submissive buffet will be closing as of right now. For those of you who don't know me, I struggle with stepping back and letting my husband take the reigns of our household. In the past few months, I have extracted a couple unhealthy friendships from my world. The change is great-as I feel like it was becoming a very tense situation. My attitude over all of the drummed up drama? Not so great. My husband has asked me to quit mulling over it. He says it is holding me back spiritually. He asked me to cut all ties. I agree...through gritted teeth. So....let's all sing a little praise and worship song for me taking the first step in letting my husband take control! Now-if I could just hand over the finances......

Me starting a new blog is my first step in starting a new chapter in my life. One that is hopefully full of authentic Christian growth as I learn how to fall more in love with my Saviour every day! So...email me for the new blog link...You know you don't wanna miss it! Thank you guys for all of your support!

I am trying to think of a catchy title...but, alas....it eludes me

I am trying to think of a title so I can begin doing a weekly post on Fridays, sort of like a Friday wrap-up. I don't want to call it the Friday wrap-up. I want it to be catchy. And all the words to start with the same letter. I really can't explain why. It's the crazy in me.

Anyway..here it goes..in list format.

1. I am going to ATTEMPT to post each Friday. For your viewing pleasure it will be in list format. And guess what? It will be a wrap up from the week. Surprised? Thought so. I have to make my lists 10 items long. No less, no more. It's the other crazy in me.

2. We celebrated Olin's birthday last night with dinner (homemade white sauce chicken enchiladas and pico de gallo.....) and had a blast. I'm exhausted....but it was totally worth it. His real bday is on Sunday and we will be gone to work so we partied early. By partied I mean we had birthday cake and ice cream. What can I say? We are the type of people who like to live on the edge.

3. I feel like I should make a public service announcement and tell you that you can find the recipes for the white sauce chicken enchiladas and pico de gallo over at thepioneerwoman.com under her cooking section of the blog. You cannot find the cardiologist you will need after you eat this there. You will have to google that all on your own. Sorry. It'll be worth it, though.

4. We are now fully in the midst of planning the birthday party debacle of 2010 for Seth. His bday is May 20th but we are doing his party on the 22nd. Please start sending your prayers up now. I will have 8 little boys in my house...all day and all night...for a sleepover/camping party. Now-I don't like disorganization or nature. So I am facing the battle of having them in the house and deal with the stickymuddydirtydisorganization or go outside with them and deal with all the nature. I may need to be on some sort of nerve pill before I make this decision.

5. I am considering making Seth and Olin share a party next year. After last night, and I am sure after the 22nd, I will force this option on them. Democratic household? Not a chance.

6. I would like to take a moment here on this old blog and wish all the Mothers who read this a Happy Mothers Day! I know that only consists of less than a handful of people, but still. I hope you all have a great day!

7. Speaking of the old blog, do you love the new look as much as I do? Sometimes during the day I pull it up just to look at the happy background and admire the pictures of my people on the right sidebar. Just saying. Those were taken by Amy Beth at www.ministrysofabulous.com. Shoot her an email if you are interested in her work! I would say I would connect you with her myself, but my schedule is looking a little full lately. You're on your own, kiddo.

8. I have recently crossed into unchartered territory while trying to learn to parent an almost 11 year old. I won't go into details, lest he eventually reads this blog when he is grown and kills me in my sleep. Just saying that I am glad to have his dad around. That's all.

9. The last sermon in the "where are they now" series over at elevationchurch.org is titled "when God crossed His arms"...and it is worth checking out. They had a guest pastor from Seattle, WA and anything I write here about that message could not ever do it justice. Go check it out! When you get to the site, go under Media on the top bar, then to Sermon Archives and it will bring up all of his series. Just click on Where Are They Now and it will show each sermon in that series. Worth watching all of it.....Just saying.

10. I am now going to say goodbye to the internet for a while. We are headed back to work very shortly and I need to sign off and be productive. Blech.... I hope you all have a fantabulous weekend and I'll be back sooner than last time! Promise! (Maybe)