My Page 23

I am reading a new book...."Sun Stand Still" by our pastor..Steven Furtick. I am not even to the half-way point yet, so I do not think this post will be conclusive or maybe even cohesive. Just roll with it. I want to get some thoughts about the book down while they are fresh. I am 32 now....and with age comes....mmm...what's that word??? Oh yea...dementia. :)

The Sun Stand Still book is based off of Joshua Chapter 10. There are a couple key verses that he points out in the book but if you read Joshua 10 you will get the idea. Pretty much, Joshua was battling the enemy and knew that if it got dark that he would lose some people. They would flee and hide. If that happened, the battle wouldn't be done. He needed to conquer EVERY enemy. After all, God had told him...in verse 8..."Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you." NOT ONE OF THEM. Well, Joshua was probably a very literal person (something that stands true to the male population around our homes these days) and didn't want to let any of them get away. So he prays..."O sun, stand still over Gibeon, O moon, over the Valley Of Aijalon." (verse 12)

The amazing part comes in after verse 12. Verse 13 and 14 read: "The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. There has never been a day like it before or since....Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel!"

I want to be like Joshua. I want to pray prayers that are equivalent to his sun stand still prayer and pray them in confidence that if I am in God's will, there is nothing that He cannot do. After all, he DID make the sun stand still and all....

When I first started reading the book last night and again this morning, I immediately started to think of sun stand still prayers I could pray for my life. As Pastor Steven points out, it doesn't have to be something as big as making the sun stand still. It means that you are praying, and believing, in something that is impossible for you in your life. It may be easy for others, but impossible for you. This is why everyones sun stand still prayers will not be the same. Well, if you know me at all, you know I am a list maker. My first inclination was to get out a brand new yellow pad and sharpie pen and start my list of sun stand still prayers. I would have the list done in minutes and praying over them just as quickly. And then it hit me. SLOW DOWN FAST MOVER FRANNIE. Keep reading first.

So I just got out a highlighter instead. :) You see, I could make a list of what the sun stand still prayers are for my life that I think are right. But what if those things that I am praying for are not the things that God wants in my life? What if it isn't His timing to work any of that out or work it out the way I want to work it out? It would then become a futile activity. I want to first pray about God's will for my life. He created me to be a vessel for Him to reach people. I can imagine, that when I finally tap into it in it's full screen HD version, it will be quite an amazing vessel! But....and this is a big but....I want to know which vessel he wants to use. Did He give me a desire to help homeless people or abused children because there is something He is planning to do through me that would rock the world of all of that? I sit around and wonder what I can do. I even put up a msg on facebook last year to do a blanket and coat drive for homeless people in my town. I got zero...ZERO...responses. But...I didn't pray about it first. I just thought it was the right thing to do. Can you imagine if God was in charge of my plan? My daydreams are now turned to how much more I could help provide if God was the one rationing out my provisions.

And what if God's plan for me has nothing to do with the above? Maybe it's something I have ignored for my 32 years. Something I've pushed to a back corner as "kind of interesting". I want to know what it is. I want to seek it out and then I want to talk to Him. After all, He will be the one in charge here. Which, by the way, will be another huge lesson for me. I am an in charge kind of person. That's why I make lists. Things that seem too big or out of control, if I write them down in a list it mentally gets them under my control. So-write it down in the history books. I am handing the reigns over. I want God to be the provider for whatever it is that He has me do. And I'm excited. I am excited to find out what it is, what He will provide me with, how it will affect me, my family, the wee little boy. (How amazing it will be to live out an audacious faith in front of an 11 year old!) It's like Christmas morning...only all the time. I never know when I will turn a corner and there will be provision for what He wants me to do then. Can you imagine the possibilities? Because I can! I may put them down on a list...lol....but that's how I daydream. HA!

As I said, I am halfway through the book so I know there will be more posts to follow. Maybe it will be a "My Page 23" series. Who knows. I don't know if I can figure all of that out on here. I am just excited to put it out there and would like for everyone reading to pray that I am able to hear and understand the words that God wants me to and hold me accountable. If it seems like I am taking the reigns from Him, smack my hand! (Nicely, please)

So here we go on a journey....of the Sun Stand Still kind....will you join me?

The book releases on Tuesday I believe. You can check it out on www.sunstandstill.org and it is available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon on the release date as well. (I would have linked all of these things but I am too technologically outdated to do all of that. Sorry. )

As you turn 32

Dear Courtney...

As you turn 32 today, please don't forget the best times from the last year. You say you won't, but you will get busy "doing life" and forget about all of them! Just for you, I am making a list so you won't forget. It's how I roll.

-Your boys giving you Valentine's gifts a day early because they just couldn't wait. Seth gave you a matching teddy bear to the one he got you in 2009 when he said..."Look...he has the year on his foot. This way you won't forget the first year we were a family on Valentine's Day!" No I won't, Seth. Ever. :)
-Giving your boys books for Valentine's day and walking in and seeing them lined up on the couch, nose to the pages. Life father, like son. Love it!
-Seth's birthday party debacle of 2010. It was great...but way tiring. Next year will be easier.
-The debacle of 2010 debacle.
-Your first trip to the beach as a family. The one where you lost your bathing suit bottoms and your husband lost his wedding ring. Grateful that the first was recovered and the second can be replaced.
-Getting excited about finally owning a deep freezer. Wow how our priorities change as we age!
-Caroline turning a year old in August. It feels like this little girl has been in our family forever!
-Caroline staying with her Nana the whole weekend while you were at the beach. The boys worried more than you did! Caroline wasn't worried-Nana fed her all the table food she wanted and she came home more spoiled than she went-didn't know that was possible! Thanks a lot, Nana!
-Connecting with your dad on facebook. Who would have thought? Lol.
-Starting an outside project with Olin. One that isn't finished because you need more tools to finish, but it is well on it's way. And the fact that Olin is doing it just because you asked him to! :)
-Ashley moving to GVegas! The fact that you aren't there is a little sad, b/c you love that place, but the fact that she is there and you can visit anytime? Priceless! Now you need to make time to actually go!!!
-Seth living in Lincolnton. All the world seems a little better now for you. Now if you could just get use to the school schedule.
-Since last September, you have celebrated your first anniversary, hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner at your house, and then vowed never to do it again! Ha!
-You played Santa for Seth this past Christmas. Probably your first and last year of getting to do it so you worked it all up! You guys made reindeer food, cookies for Santa...all the works! He loved it and I believe it may have warmed your heart just as much as it did his!
-Going to Elevation Church for the first time. It has rocked your God world and you couldn't be happier!

*I am sure there are more...However, it is 5:37am and this is my second blog post for the day so I am out of the ability to process coherent thoughts. I will add to it as I remember stuff....I don't want to miss anything! :)

Where's Waldo?

I just realized it has been over a month since I posted. In my defense (if I even have one) it has been quite a busy month! Seth started 6th grade...so not only have we transitioned to a new school entirely, but we are transitioning to middle school. It's been a rough road people...rough road! We are hopefully now getting into a routine. He loves his new school. I love the new school but am counting down the days until summer again! (He doesn't know this-I don't want him to start not liking school...lol). The evenings exhaust me. We don't seem to stop from the time he gets home until the time he goes to bed between homework, dinner, free time, chores, showers, reading time, family time, etc. Our days are full. And I love it. Every. Stinking. Exhausting. Minute. Of. It.

We haven't been to church in the last few weeks and I can feel it in my soul. I need to get back there and be fed spiritually. Sure-we can watch the sermons online but there is something about being surrounded by a body of believers and worshipping with them that just makes everything of the world go away. At least for a bit. It shifts my perspective to a much better place.

Speaking of shifting-I have realized that it is time that I redesign my life and shift my priorities to other things. I am in prayer mode about it. I want to shift priorities to where God wants me to shift them. I know that right now I am focused on things that aren't bad, but they certainly aren't what God would have me focus on. I get worked up and angry very easily at things that I believe are injustices. Who am I to judge??? I have quit reading blogs online that make me angry because people take things out of perspective. If it angers me, then why do I need to expose myself to it? There are people in my world that have a very distorted view of priorities in life in general. Not only spiritually, but in their everyday life and activities. It angers me. This isn't fair to me, my God, or my family. When I am angry, I lose focus on Him. Why in the world would I want that? So I am praying for a mind shift. I want to let the little things and the injustices roll off my back. I don't want to lose time with God or my family because I am too busy trying to "fix" or "right" what has been done wrong to me. It does no good and only serves to stress me out. So I am praying and making a list :) to help me along. Stay tuned for updates. :)

In one more day, I will turn 32 years old. Most people I suppose would complain about getting older, and while there is a little taste of bittersweet to it, there are many great things about it. Why would I mind being 32 when I have a life that is fulfilled? I have a wonderful husband (who I will be celebrating an anniversary with in a couple weeks) and a fabulous step-son. I have a Father who celebrates me. I have fabulous family and friends that support me. Sure-there are places I thought I would be in life by now that I'm not. However, I am realizing that I am right where God wants me to be right now in my life. I can't wait to find out what my 32nd year of life holds. It's kind of like opening up a brand new blank notebook and having a brand new sharpie pen to write in it with. Gives me butterflies. :) So I plan to celebrate another year. Another year of blessings, trials, wins, losses, sweet memories, family, friends, etc. And eat cake. LET THEM EAT CAKE! I know my mom ordered me a "Lori" cake and Sheyna and I are ready for our cake fest. That will send the year out with a bang!

Sorry I took so long to post. Hopefully, I will be quicker with it in the future. However, during school I make no promises! I hope the fact that it exhausts me has nothing to do with my age....:)

Until next time.....